Protoman and Zero Versus The Smashers!
by Billiam and Jefferson
Summary: Formerly known as Link and Ganondorf, we're here with a new Fic! Marth and Roy have been messing with Roll and Iris, who Protoman and Zero chase them to Smash HQ, where Samus, Yoshi, Ness and the Ice Climbers will stop them...or will they?


One day Marth and Roy were falling from a thousand miles up.  
  
"AHHHHH!" Shouted Marth!  
  
"CAN YOU FEEL THE ADRENALINE?!" said roy!  
  
"YEAH! WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?!"  
  
"WE ACTED LIKE ASSES AT THE SUPER SMASH BROTHERS PARTY SO THEY THREW US FROM A THOUSAND MILES UP!" Roy yelled out in reply.  
  
"OH!"  
  
"WE'RE GONNA HIT THE FLOOR!" Roy smiled stupidly. "WHEE-OW!" He hit the cement with a thud, Marth coming after him.  
  
And they just happened to hit the floor of the carnival. Meanwhile, Roll and Iris sat on a bench, each of them with a cotton candy in hand as they watched Protoman and Zero spend dollar after dollar trying to win a prize. It seemed though, that every time they hit the target with the hammer, the block went up lower and lower.  
  
"Just stand back..." Zero said as he grabbed the hammer, and thwacked it with all his, might but to no avail "KNAVE YOU DARE INSULT THEE?!" And with that he shot it, sending it up and winning it for him "Woo!"  
  
"You suck" Protoman grabbed the hammer and hit Zero in the head with it.  
  
"At least I won unlike a certain Proto-ish type character I know- Ow!"  
  
"Well, watch this!" Protoman quickly grabbed the hammer, and melted it with a blast. He then blasted the game until the block went up to 100. "Ha! Face!"  
  
Here you are, guys" The short, wide, mustached Italian guy in the white shirt and jeans handed Protoman a 2-inch tall panda and a 2.5 inch tall brown bear for Zero.  
  
"Hey, what's this, these things are tiny! We worked, for that money!" Protoman exclaimed, pointing at the stuffed animals.  
  
"We worked hard for that money, we work hard for the money so pay us back or we'll kill you!" Zero sang Zero in a tune.  
  
"Uh...gotta go" The Italian guy tried to run but couldn't. Within seconds Protoman and Zero stood in front of him. "Uh...oh boy."  
  
"You wanna go first?" Zero asked Protoman  
  
"Be my guest" Replied Protoman.  
  
"Thanks" And with that Zero started beating the guy over the head with his Buster. Protoman grinned and joined in, and they continued to pound him as a fight cloud covered the beating.  
  
"I told you I already have a boy friend" Iris shouted as some guy with Blue hair tried to hit on her.  
  
"But he's only a boy, and I am a man" Marth chuckled. "Am I clever or what?" He asked vainly, turning to Roy.  
  
"...No, you're just a nuisance" Iris answered before Roy could get out a dumb reply. "Now get out of my face or my boyfriend will kill you, then my brother will kill you again"  
  
"Same goes for you" Roll replied, giving Roy a kick in the shin.  
  
"Ow! But, I'll bet I'm just so much, better then your brother! Look, I have this cool sword" And with that he took out the Sword of Seals. "Hee-yah!"  
  
"Oh! Her boyfriend's gonna kill me! Oh no! Miss, let me tell you something, no one is gonna beat me any day of the week, cause I have...a sword!" Marth swung it and posed. "Minna, mite o kure!"  
  
"...So?" Was their reactions.  
  
And with that they sputtered some garbage that neither could understand while doing some funky poses.  
  
"These two are huge idiots. Maybe we should beat him up ourselves, while Proto and Zero are busy..." Roll's eyes moved over to the sight of Protoman and Zero beating the living heck out of the vender. "Never mind"  
  
"Let's just do it" Suggested Iris.  
  
"Works for me" And with that Roll, pulled out her own Buster and Iris pulled out her Saber "Aren't you glad that the boys got us these for Christmas?" Iris asked. Roll nodded, but at the same time, Marth and Roy took out their swords.  
  
"We'll have to beat you up, huh? Sounds like a weird date, but okay" Marth pointed Falchion at them.  
  
"Aw, shut uppa you face ya loser!" Marth yelled in a fake accent.  
  
"Um, that's my boyfriend Zero, with the gun, and the sword" Iris pointed out.  
  
".....D'oh!" Groaned Marth in a Homer-esque way.  
  
"I say we take apart carrot top and tiarra-boy. I call the twerp with the hair" Protoman grinned, pointing his blaster arm at Roy.  
  
"We'll just watch" Roll took a bag of popcorn from a man at a popcorn booth, and handed a second one to Iris.  
  
"Good..." And with that Zero took out his Z-Sabre and jumped at Marth, cutting through Falchion "FALCHION! YOU--YOU BASTARD!" And with that the two got in to a fist fight.  
  
Protoman and Roy faced each other down. Protoman grinned. "I will win, for I have the ultimate battle technique" Protoman pointed behind Roy. "Hey look, it's Don Knotts!"  
  
"Don Knotts? Don Knotts? DON KNOTTS?!" Roy looked behind him looking for Don Knotts. "WHERE?!" Protoman quickly blasted Roy's sword, melting the metal of it. "AH! The Sword of Seals!" Roy screamed. "Gr...I hate it when people use Don Knotts to deceive me"  
  
"And now the finishing blow! Blue Eyes White Dragon! Awaken!" Zero shouted, pulling out a Duel Monsters card.  
  
Marth and Roy gave loud, girly screams and then ran off from the carnival, running as fast as they could.  
  
"After them!" Shouted Protoman, pointing a hand at the running scoundrels.  
  
"Heh heh, thank you Seto Kaiba" And with that Zero jumped on the Blue Eyes, and chased them.  
  
"Wait up!" Protoman leapt on the head of the Blue Eyes, which continued to chase after Marth and Roy.  
  
"Hey where'd they get that Blue Eyes?" Iris wondered  
  
"I asked Proto yesterday. He said 'Internet' and sneaked away" Replied Roll.  
  
Meanwhile Seto Kaiba was counting his Blue Eyes White Dragons and... "One, two...hey! WHERE'S MY THIRD DRAGON?!"  
  
Pegasus was watching Funny Bunny, and hated being interrupted, but acted pleasant just to lure Kaiba into a false sense of security. "Oh, hello Kaiba-boy. How are you doing?" Asked Pegasus, who had a plate of cheese and a glass of wine before him.  
  
"What have you done with my Blue Eyes you sicko?!" Kaiba yelled.  
  
"I can assure you, I did nothing to your Blue Eyes White Dragon" Replied Pegasus.  
  
"And that also means if you turned it into that ridiculous Toon Dragon!" Kaiba shouted.  
  
"Pff! Who needs your Blue Eyes, I've got an army of Toon Dragons already! MUAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
"DIE!" Kaiba jumped on Pegasus and began to pound his face senseless, until Pegasus sent him into the Shadow World.  
  
"Don't interrupt me while I'm watching Funny Bunny" Hissed Pegasus, pushing Kaiba's empty body to the ground.  
  
Then, the Blue Eyes crashed in to the castle "I thought you said you knew how to drive this thing!" Zero shouted loudly.  
  
"I thought I did...I guess it was a dream" Protoman said in reply.  
  
"Grrr", then he looked at Pegasus "hey buddy, you know how to pilot a blue eyes white dragon?"  
  
"Move his head to the left to get to Smash HQ" Replied Pegasus simply.  
  
"Oh, thanks" And with that he moved the head and saw Smash HQ "Cool!" And with that the two disembarked and went inside.  
  
"Now...where are those two scoundrels we meant to beat up?" Asked Protoman as he and Zero walked through the hallway, looking around.  
  
"You're not going any further" Came a voice. The bounty hunter Samus Aran dropped down in front of them. "My technology will beat yours"  
  
"Lady, I am the most powerful destructive weapon ever created, I don't think your gonna beat me" Zero confidently grinned.  
  
"Ditto to that" Protoman added.  
  
"Sooooo ya wanna kill her now or torture her?" Zero asked.  
  
"You won't be torturing anybody, for you shall tremble at my psychic power! MUAHAHAHAHA!" Said Ness as he tried to look all evil and junk.  
  
"Oh please, those powers aren't even psychic" Replied Protoman.  
  
"I'll take the short one" Zero stated.  
  
"I AM NOT SHORT!" Bellowed Ness. His voice turned to a whine. "I'm vertically challenged"  
  
"And I'm"non-killer challenged" And with that Zero, walked menacingly towards Ness.  
  
"WHEE!" Came two stupid voices. The retard Ice Climbers kids came in. They ran into a wall two times, giggling madly, before looking at Protoman and Zero. "Me eat you up!" They both said before laughing stupidly again.  
  
"Ah! Pegasus must run Smash HQ as well!" A panic-stricken Zero yelled.  
  
"No, those are just the Ice Retards" Protoman said.  
  
"Oh, well they seem like something Pegasus would do" Zero thought.  
  
"You're right about that, though. Pegasus does make the stupidest things..." Protoman thought out loud.  
  
"OOOOOOOH DOLLS DOLLS DOLLIES!" Nana said loudly.  
  
"NO, THEY'RE ACTION FIGURES!" Argued Popo, throwing two punches. He then punched himself in the face. "YIPEE! THAT OUCHIED!"  
  
"AH! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" And Zero went in to a mad rage of slicing. Zero sliced Nana right in half.  
  
"TAKE THIS!" Protoman aimed his buster arm at Popo and quickly blew him to smithereens with a single shot.  
  
But Zero didn't stop there he was a MURDEROUS KILLING MACHINE! Protoman was likewise as well. The two rushed at Ness, who was on the verge of peeing his pants, but a stupid green dinosaur dropped down in front of them. "YOSHI!" Yoshi was sent flying into the wall with a loud smack.  
  
"Well, let's take him down first" Protoman suggested, pointing at Yoshi.  
  
"Will do" Agreed Zero.  
  
And then, Yoshi let out a loud fart, so bad it brought out brown gas.  
  
"OH GOD!" And with that Zero and Protoman ran off.  
  
Ness and Samus tied up Yoshi and threw him out the window, where he was run over by a steamroller. "Now let's take down those intruders" Samus said.  
  
"HIYAH!" Zero jumped back in all cool and junk, ready to chop stuff up. Ness jumped into the air, only to get knocked back by Zero. Zero grinned before beating the heck out of Ness. Ness tried to use his wimpy P.K Fire, but Zero flew out of the way and bashed him over the head with his sword He kicked Ness upwards and began to shoot at him with a buster shot. Ness grinned and used PSI Magnet, absorbing the shots. After a few seconds he descended to the ground, still grinning and with the shield, not noticing. Zero pulled his sabre and sliced Ness over the head, then grabbed him and slammed him into the ground. Ness used P.K Flash. Zero did a backflip and threw Ness into his own attack. Ness yelled as he was bounced across the walls, landing unconcious on the ground.  
  
Protoman and Samus both dashed at each other before taking to the air. Samus shot a missile at Protoman, who flew out of the way. Protoman bashed Samus in the back with his Buster arm and then gave her a toss down. Samus got up and tried to charge her Charge Shot, but Protoman shot his powerful blaster at her several times. Samus was hit over and over again. She tried to get away but the powerful blasts were keeping her down. Finally, Protoman stopped and Samus came closer. Protoman grinned and literally blasted the armor off of Samus. Samus lay on the ground next to Ness, both of them unconcious.  
  
The two of them got ropes and began to tie Samus and Ness up by their arms. After completed, Protoman and Zero flew off. Samus and Ness were left beaten up and hog-tied.  
  
"So...now what?" Asked Protoman.  
  
"Think we should save Kaiba?" Zero shrugged.  
  
"Well, that's the heroic thing to do...but since we just killed those idiots we're not heroes" Replied Protoman, smirking.  
  
"Think we should kill Pegasus then steal his money? Then save Kaiba then kill him and take his money?"  
  
"Nah, we got minuscule stuffed animals to give our girlfriends" Replied Protoman. "Come on, let's go"  
  
"But if we steal there money we could buy them a mansion full of minuscule stuffed animals! And isn't Roll your sister?"  
  
"How should I know, the guy who's doing my part doesn't play our lousy games and you never told me that!" Protoman looked outraged. "And for that....let's kill the Authors"  
  
"Uh, Dr. Nick?" Wing, the first author, stated.  
  
"Yes?" Replied Dr. Nick, the second author.  
  
"RUN!!!!"  
  
"I SECOND THAT!"  
  
The lousy Authors tried to run away, but Protoman and Zero caught up to them and blew them apart.  
  
"You know, for an SSBM Fic, this sure had little to do with SSBM" Protoman came to the realization as the two of them walked off.  
  
"Yeah but, who cares, WE ROCK!" Zero yelled.  
  
"YEAH--hey, aren't we forgetting something?" Protoman asked.  
  
"Uh...the Blue Eyes?"  
  
"Nah, we can leave it...ah, who cares, it's probably nothing" The two of them walked off.  
  
"Ha, they never got us!" Roy laughed.  
  
"We're invincible!" Stated Marth.  
  
"Hey boys..." Came a female voice  
  
"Yeeees?" They both turned around.  
  
Standing there were Roll, and Iris weaponry out "Forget about US?"  
  
"AH! IT'S THE MAD CHICKS!" Marth yelled as loud as he could.  
  
"RUN FOR THE LOVE OF CHEESE!" Screamed Roy.  
  
"Wait, I don't like cheese" Marth said.  
  
"You don't?" Roy curiously asked. This stall gave Roll and Iris enough time to jump on the two and beat them to kingdom come.  
  
The End...  
  
Or WAS it?  
  
Yes, it was. 


End file.
